* these are usually larger slap head men with stubble and lots of gold rings who hang around in bars and pubs instead of having lives

but in there lies a contradiction, what is masculine? you said real men dont wear loads of rings, but those men do and many men do, just like other men do no too things come as one

its the balance and comfort that makes a man a man
i would rather be with someone who knows who he is than someone who is too afraid to be themselves, if anything that is more unattractive that being a male barbie
just like those girls who bitch and laugh at those who look more masculine or dont look good because they arent wearing the latest this that and the other, bull-shiz
these disgusting felines are usually under a thick layer of make up and fake god knows whats and its so sad, because they would be so good if they just went easy and didnt conform.
but then again maybe that IS deep down who they are and want to be and that cant be disputed with

im lucky i managed to get a guy who scrubs up good when need be but usually only takes 5mins to get ready ive done his nails and would walk my dog (if i had one) how ever long i asked because he wants to make me happy

that is a real man

Krisiti,
If your boyfriend (kind of young to be common law unless you’ve been living together for quite a few years) isn’t depressed, it could be a sign of how things will be if you actually get married. Things that tend to bother you before marriage, tend to become even more annoying after marriage. However, he also sounds young. At your age, it would be nice to date a few other guys to see what it’s like to be with others with different ambitions. It took one really nice guy to show me what I should expect in a relationship. I didn’t know, and accepted disrepectful behaviors from past boyfriends. Now, I have a great husband because I wouldn’t settle for less.

Yes, you are young… that doesn’t mean what you are feeling isn’t real or doesn’t hurt. My mom used to talk about young people and “puppy love.” She always said “It’s real to the puppy.” Your youth doesn’t mean your pain is not genuine.

I would shy away from sharing too much of this with another man. Sometimes men want to “fix” things immediately and I think what you need is time. Sharing this with another man could just complicate things for you, unless he is a counselor. I wish you the best. Trust me, life has it’s ups and downs. It will get better for you, whether you chose to stay with this man or not.

I have done my best to keep myself well groomed, in shape, and happy -unfortunately, everything is an excuse for him to avoid the above. While I have not lost weight, I gained some muscle to tone flabbier parts of my body that had caused me problems. I regained curvature on my hips, thighs, and didn’t lose my endowments in the process. Despite his endless complaints about his own body image, he has not bothered to exercise in quite some time. He has put on twenty pounds (and he was over-weight to begin with), and now he is entirely neglecting himself, me, and his responsibilities within our household.

I have done everything in my power to get him off of the computer. I have even gone so far as to purchase new lingerie, offer him a series of strip-teases, massages, and literally throwing myself at him, begging for any kind of sex -and nothing has worked.

Despite these flaws, he is the best friend that I have ever had… Which is what makes it so difficult to tell him that I am considering ending our relationship. I am not doing this to be with anyone else, I genuinely love him -but I think that it isn’t right to continue like this. We are both young, I am nineteen, which has probably rendered this post trivial to a lot of people, yet I feel genuinely at a loss.

I have asked him, politely, after every complaint of his about himself, to follow through with his plans… Have a shower, don’t wait a week again. Have some food, you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday. I am tired of getting the feeling that he waits for me to not be around so that he can get sexual satisfaction from a box with wires.

I know this may sound insipid, but what do I do, Jay? I mean, it seemed entirely like a body image problem, so I supported him in his goals to lose weight, and I took advantage of nearly every opportunity to show my affection. I know that through reading the above that it sounds as though he is depressed or suicidal or something, and if he is, he is hiding it very well. He is always sporting a smile. I hope this hasn’t come across as whining. If it has, I apologize profusely.

Thank you for reading.

You sound like a very hot teacher/instructor! Wish I took your class when I was in school!

You’re right. Looking your best does take some extra tome and sometimes money but I bet the feeling is priceless, right?

Your husband is a lucky guy. Tell him I said that, ok?

J

Fast forward 30 years, and believe me it went by very fast! Now, I wouldn’t mind being sexually harassed on occasion. lol. It takes a lot of effort to look good at my age but I try. I exercise, watch what I eat, shave pretty much everything and more recently… thanks to Archer, I bleach my backdoor. I am a professional educator with a Master’s degree and I have raised 5 sons. The youngest is now 20. THANK GOD!

My husband loves me but started to lose interest in me a couple of years ago. It was tough for him to tell me that he wasn’t as attracted to me because I had gained some weight over the years. Quite a bit of weight. My first reaction was to get angry at him because he was and still is about 100 lbs overweight. Yes I said 100. His weight didn’t really bother me but that seems to be an area where men and women are very different. Otherwise, how can you explain all the beer-bellied, bald men with attractive wives. It could be money… but I think men are just programmed more towards appearances than women.

Anyway, long story short… I listened,,, joined weight watchers (have lost 35 lbs. so far), started going to tanning booths (please no lectures on skin cancer here), started getting manicures and pedicures, bought some younger looking clothes, etc. I laughingly told him that being pretty is expensive. HE DOESN”T CARE how much I spend to look good… really… it surprised me but I think it is very important to him that I look my best and I want to because I adore him and want to make him happy.

The reward has been better communication and a really good sex life. I knew he loved me all along… now he wants me and that makes the dieting, exercise and everything else worthwhile.