Understand What Men Want
February 24, 2010 by Archer
“If Only I Could Understand What Men Want….”
Understand Men
by Bob Grant, Licensed Professional Counselor - aka “The Relationship Doctor”
Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do?w
Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.
1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”
2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.
3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.
by Bob Grant, L.P.C “The Relationship Doctor”
[Editor Note: Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave ]
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Oh my goodness! What an incredible article! I heard of Bob Grant from another site. Can’t wait to share this information with others. This is totally contrary to what we women have grown to believe about men. It ’s refreshing to find this bit of truth.
As much as these are true….how do you make the MAN DO SOMETHING to show YOU their “feelings” without you having to hop on top and show them how much you like lollypops?
You know this is kind of like defending men and how they don’t want to talk and they love you but don’t like to tell you blah blah……..men have to do something to show you that they love you….women or I can give and give and give….with no giving on his end…..
Men get so comfortable when they have a woman like me who loves to show them physically that they love them, that they don’t think they need to “show” you back.
Megan,
Agreed.
I’m NOT saying this male behavior is CORRECT or RIGHT I’m just telling you the way it is.
That being said, you should insist your man be romantic – that you expect it and that he make it a priority.
Once he understands it’s a priority and how important it is – he will likely make more of an effort.
Pfft, yeah right.
As if anything about what’s written up there is true
*Doesn’t believe*
Holy! This article jst gave me the answer I’ve been lukng 4!! Thanks so much!
this was a great article. It’s nice to know why men get quiet and don’t show their emotions…it all makes sense now!
love the article.since i have started receiving these emails my love life and improved 300%.sex is ‘wow’.signed my husband up 4 ‘fasterfemaleorgasms’ and since then we finally had anal sex and i’m enjoying it(after trying 4 4yrs).thanks
this article is true in a way… but in my case im giving and showing and when I want something my way or even sex my way it never happens..
I absolutely agree with this article and it is just about spot on.
My boyfriend is most definately more sensitive than I am, even though you would never know it. Anytime we get into an argument, the argument will usually escalate because by me speaking up and complaining about something, he gets hurt, shuts down, won’t speak to me, I want a resolution, but then I feel he is punishing me by being quiet, but really he’s just hurt and needs to calm down before he gets out of control, I get more and more pissed because I want to get to the resolution. And if it gets really heated, he will lose control and will have to win the argument, at all costs. Even if we stay up til 4 am on a work night, he will win. And then of course apologize when he calms down the next day for saying the hurtful things he said just to win.
I’m understanding more and more everyday how to handle him, and this article kind of solidifies what I have been thinking for the last 6 months. Honestly, whether I argue to the death , or just shut my mouth, I always win really anyway.
And ladies-you will never ever change the way they are. Give it up.
one interesting fact about men and fighting or sensitivity is that men physiologically react differently to fights. when a fight starts, a man’s biological stress symptoms (raised blood pressure, body temp, muscle tension) raise extremely quickly and they are overwhelmed by it easily. On the other hand, in women the same symptoms rise much slower and so they will fight more and often can’t understand why he cant just talk with her about it.
I know i am guilty of this a lot and i kinda found it interesting when I found this out
Meagan,
Thanks for the explanation on how men react differently to an argument. Very helpful.
TRUE in my case for sure. I guess I can’t say “I don’t know what came over me” anymore.
Archer