“If Only I Could Understand What Men Want….”
Understand Men
by Bob Grant, Licensed Professional Counselor - aka “The Relationship Doctor”
Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do?w
Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.
1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”
2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.
3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.
by Bob Grant, L.P.C “The Relationship Doctor”
[Editor Note: Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave ]
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Oh my goodness! What an incredible article! I heard of Bob Grant from another site. Can’t wait to share this information with others. This is totally contrary to what we women have grown to believe about men. It ‘s refreshing to find this bit of truth.
As much as these are true….how do you make the MAN DO SOMETHING to show YOU their “feelings” without you having to hop on top and show them how much you like lollypops?
You know this is kind of like defending men and how they don’t want to talk and they love you but don’t like to tell you blah blah……..men have to do something to show you that they love you….women or I can give and give and give….with no giving on his end…..
Men get so comfortable when they have a woman like me who loves to show them physically that they love them, that they don’t think they need to “show” you back.
Megan,
Agreed.
I’m NOT saying this male behavior is CORRECT or RIGHT I’m just telling you the way it is.
That being said, you should insist your man be romantic – that you expect it and that he make it a priority.
Once he understands it’s a priority and how important it is – he will likely make more of an effort.
Pfft, yeah right.
As if anything about what’s written up there is true
*Doesn’t believe*
Holy! This article jst gave me the answer I’ve been lukng 4!! Thanks so much!
this was a great article. It’s nice to know why men get quiet and don’t show their emotions…it all makes sense now!
love the article.since i have started receiving these emails my love life and improved 300%.sex is ‘wow’.signed my husband up 4 ‘fasterfemaleorgasms’ and since then we finally had anal sex and i’m enjoying it(after trying 4 4yrs).thanks
this article is true in a way… but in my case im giving and showing and when I want something my way or even sex my way it never happens..
I absolutely agree with this article and it is just about spot on.
My boyfriend is most definately more sensitive than I am, even though you would never know it. Anytime we get into an argument, the argument will usually escalate because by me speaking up and complaining about something, he gets hurt, shuts down, won’t speak to me, I want a resolution, but then I feel he is punishing me by being quiet, but really he’s just hurt and needs to calm down before he gets out of control, I get more and more pissed because I want to get to the resolution. And if it gets really heated, he will lose control and will have to win the argument, at all costs. Even if we stay up til 4 am on a work night, he will win. And then of course apologize when he calms down the next day for saying the hurtful things he said just to win.
I’m understanding more and more everyday how to handle him, and this article kind of solidifies what I have been thinking for the last 6 months. Honestly, whether I argue to the death , or just shut my mouth, I always win really anyway.
And ladies-you will never ever change the way they are. Give it up.
one interesting fact about men and fighting or sensitivity is that men physiologically react differently to fights. when a fight starts, a man’s biological stress symptoms (raised blood pressure, body temp, muscle tension) raise extremely quickly and they are overwhelmed by it easily. On the other hand, in women the same symptoms rise much slower and so they will fight more and often can’t understand why he cant just talk with her about it.
I know i am guilty of this a lot and i kinda found it interesting when I found this out
Meagan,
Thanks for the explanation on how men react differently to an argument. Very helpful.
TRUE in my case for sure. I guess I can’t say “I don’t know what came over me” anymore.
Archer
Ok, so what about when my bf is so emotionally unavailable that he won’t hug, kiss, or even hold my hand? I have talked to him about those things and how important to me they are and he says ” I am just not that kind of guy, I really care about you, but I am not always all toucy-feely like that.” How do I tap into his inner touchy-feely guy and get him to do it more often?
Totally agreed with Ashley…
D same thing happens between us….
V r together for over 6 yrs nw…
N yes it happens every month….
N srsly….
It’s really very difficult to understand men….
Even more Dan it is to understnd women…:p
I have the same problem Danielle,hell the dog get’s kissed,hugged,loved,and so much more attention than I do.He never tell’s me gee you look great today,so I give up on even trying to look nice,once in awhile i’ll get dolled up to see if I might get a response…nothing,when it come’s to sex,well it isn’t all that romantic,take’s all of 15 minute’s,and that isn’t even about me,he talk’s about having sex with other’s,how great it would be if I was sucking on another man’s cock,while he is fucking me,we used to be swinger’s,haven’t done that in along time,I just got tired of performing for men I didn’t even know,was alway’s about them.Got tired of him talking about it every time we had sex,but he still does.I tell him every day what a good looking man he is,never does he return the compliment!
I have no experience with the swinging thing. But sounds like the classic case of “once you do x you can never go back.”
He lacks interest in you? He fantasizes about other women? You don’t want to be involved in his swinging games?
Anyone have some advice for Danielle?
@ Danielle: It may or may not be possible to get him to tap into that mushy gushy guy side. All I can say is that sometimes you have to take some initiative. If you want to hold his hand, then hold it. Same goes for kissing, hugging, etc. I don’t see how he’d snatch his hand away or get upset over it, and if he does then you might just have to realize that he has some deep seeded issues that you can’t fix. Also, try taking extra interest in his dog. It could be the key to his lovey dovey side. Good luck! I hope this helps!