The Big Turnoff
July 25, 2009 by Archer
Instant Man Mood Killer
Here’s how to turn him off fast…
…express any self-consciousness you may have about your body in the bedroom.
Man mood killer!
Inside a man’s mind — To men, women are beautiful, mystical creatures who love and crave sex. Men are in awe of women. Any behavior you display that’s contrary to the image in his head totally shatters this image he has of you. Whatever you do, DO NOT open your mouth and ruin a man’s fantasy of you.
He wants to enjoy being with you and the sexual pleasures being together will give both of you. (Believe it or not men actually want women to enjoy sex, too)
Come on, who’s body is perfect? Who doesn’t have a few flaws. Who doesn’t want to be 10lbs lighter? Blah blah blah
Perfection is a myth – get over yourself and get on with your life at least for the next 10-40 minutes. Take a sexual vacation from your self judgements.
Body self-consciousness mood killers include but are not limited to behavior such as:
- Insisting he turns off the light before you make love
- Commenting that you feel fat or out of shape
- Avoiding specific positions because they feel “unflattering”
- Requiring the covers to be pulled over and around you during sex. (OK, only allowed in extremely cold environments or to keep warm in a cabin)
- Apologizing for any of your body parts you feel aren’t up to standard
- Stick to ‘Missionary’ because it’s “aesthetically safe”
- Saying “Oh, look how ugly that bruise is”
- OR any excuses for they way you think you look
Making a verbal judgment is just a bad commercial interruption in a beautiful movie you’re both enjoying. Put all those comments and judgements aside while you’re in the heat of the moment with him for the sake of your love life.
If you suffer from being overly body conscious and judgmental practice focusing on he’s making you feel. Focus on what feels good. Focus on enjoying his body. Focus on anything that gives you pleasure and stay out of your head. Your judgements are only noise.
Life is too short to wait until your body is perfect before living the love life of you dreams. Putting things off until tomorrow when you believe things will be better or perfect is the Fool’s trap. Don’t fall into it.
Let loose and totally express yourself in the heat of passion with your lover today! He wouldn’t have it any other way.
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hi..omg, am so happy after reading this i really thank you about it, cuz thats definitley me..i might not show it to him,but i’d try to make an excuse to quit, n sometimes i might as well commnet on my body, it is rare, but i do, but i want your help, i sometimes feel TOO SHY about my body infront of him, what shall i do untill i am NEAR PERFECT AS U SAY, please help, and thanks alot for the precious article, as it is for all your articles that helped alot in my love life.
I believe this is so true.lol
I will definately take this into consideration.
I loved the article. I do,however, find it amusing that a weight loss advertisement in on the same page.
You know this is very true, but the way I look at it is that if he didn’t find me attractive he wouldn’t be wasting his time on me in the first place. My husband loves my body and that makes me feel beautiful every night.
At first, I thought this article was a little harsh… I was thinking I should be able to voice my insecurities to my partner… that that is part of what being in a couple is about. However, my vision cleared when I realised that this article is more “matter of fact” than “harsh”. No ones saying I cant express my insecurities to my partner, but insecurities ABOUT sex, DURING sex? True, probably not the best idea!
To sum up, as quoted
“stay out of your head. Your judgements are only noise. “
you’re so right about this! I’m so glad I subscribed to you! <3
i have just read about myself… God i always tell him i feel fat when i undress for him…i feel so bad about wat it must mean to him and am glad i read this
okay this is so true i used to be unbelievably shy and now i think about how i used to be and everything wrong i used to say and i just laugh at how wrong i was….. okay if you have a site like this for women do you have a site like this for men because if so you can ask me any question and i will truthfully answer some men need guidence too