Sex Secrets of an American Geisha – 12 Highlights
by Kim Conant
Great title and creative angle … but, what I liked most about Geisha is that it was surprising bang on the money! She echoes most of my own beliefs about healthy sex and relationships.
As a man, I can’t argue with too much of what she’s teaching. All I can say is…her man, Mr. Conant, must be very happy.
Feminist will NOT like this book. It can easily be misunderstood as being submissive to your man and giving away your power. I disagree. I think it’s more about building power by building up your femininity.
1) Develop the Geisha Mindset
Yin is feminine energy. Yang is masculine.
Men love and are attracted to the opposite Yin feminine energy. Therefor to be Geisha is the expertly develop your Yin or feminine side. Yang is attracted in Yin.
But some people make the mistake of trying to force, manipulate or mold their lover into being the ‘way they want.’ Geishas understand it is much better to ‘inspire’ using her personality, kindness, beauty and femininity to treat her like a worshiped woman.
Ah ha! This could be the reason some men fall all over themselves for some women and not others….some are overtly more feminine than others….and are expert at displaying it.
2) Stay sexy, feminine and beautiful
Above all do what is required to be and stay your feminine best and ladylike.
Although Kim discusses strategies for smart eating, weight loss and keeping ‘fit’ she says it is not necessary to be ‘thin’ to be feminine.
Bottom line…want to attract a/your man you need to cultivate and develop your femininity.
ie. ‘Build it and men will come!’
3) Give all credit for your orgasms to your man.
I’ll give Kim credit, she knows men. She’s right on the money with this one and I’ve mentioned it often. She realizes its important to do this because nothing boosts a man’s ego more than truly pleasing his woman.
If you claim all the credit for your orgasm you can damage his already delicate male ego. It’s such a small thing to ask to make a man happy. Give him the credit! Why not? You already got the orgasm…do your really need the credit, too?
4) Enthusiasm
Basically, if his enthusiasm for sex is unmatched (and visa versa) there will likely be problems. Match his enthusiasm. If your man senses an lack of real enthusiasm or passion in the bedroom he’ll likely translate it as ‘you’re just not into him.’
5) Discover your g-spot (if you haven’t already) & learn female ejaculation (squirting)
Kim knows how to squirt. She goes into great detail about her own female ejaculation, how wonderful it is, how much men enjoy it and how it was desirable even in ancient times BUT doesn’t get into detail about how to squirt.
6) Ancient Sex Advice About Pubic Hair
Su Nu, one of at least 3 sex advisors to Chinese emporer Huang Ti in 2678 bc ( it’s good to be king) advised that the desirable female lover has a hairless Venus (vagina). So I guess mowing the front lawn is not as new as I thought.
She also suggest to look at your vagina and be proud of it. (She actually uses the C word. Geez!)
7) Use Toys But…
Kim empowers women to own their pleasure and orgasms. She is is a big advocate of watching adult videos (she even says ‘the kind without stories’) and sex toys. BUT again, just because you got a battery operated assist you still need to give him all the credit for your orgasm.
4 Characteristics of a Good Man
1. He has good values
2. He is aware, conscious and responsible. (I hope so, especially #2 lol)
3. He’s nice and supportive of you
4. Positive optimistic and happy.
Make a list of what each characteristic and specifically what it means to you.
Key: Pay attention to what you does NOT what he says
Be on the lookout for this man, always. When dating Discover if he has these things ASAP…before wasting time, money, energy and reputation on him.
Reputation…I’d agree that I’ve lost interest in a few women after learning about a past love interest. “She went out with that douche bag? Gross!”
9) Single Ladies: Speak up for your need to get married.
Take it from a guy…men will delay getting married (if you let him get away with it) for as long as he can unless you apply at least a little bit of pressure.
Kim suggests telling him you expect to be married within 12-18 months and he should be ready to propose 2 months of your suggestion OR he’s not a good man, ready to commit or dragging his feet. Either way you deserve his commitment.
10) Sex Before Marriage
Kim is OK with sex before marriage BUT not without commitment.
She explains that Geisha are primarily for companionship not sex. In fact, sex is bad for business. If a Geisha sleeps around with any and all clients, especially some of ‘social lower status’ it lowers her worth. She must therefor save the privilege of sex for the 1 client with the ‘highest status.’ Other men may pursue but never achieve the prize if she wants to stay in business long-term.
Geisha lesson for women who want to get a guy to commit to her…HOLD OUT and make him work for it, prove himself with his actions and pursue.
How long? She suggests waiting several weeks or months. (I’d agree that would weed out most guys looking to just get their rocks off with you)
She also emphasized, wisely, that don’t get commitment in the heat of the moment ie. when his pants are around his ankles and he’s throbbing. “Do you love me and promise to marry me?”
Kim says…“you definitely want to avoid having sex at any time with any man who is not a Good Man”
…doing so will increase your social ‘stature’ to other ‘Good Men’
11) His Greatest Fear is that you’ll change after you get married
I don’t think I need to explain this one. You likely have the same fear about your man.
12) Be Different And Better than other women
I know a woman who’s goal it is to always to be the most feminine and beautiful woman in the room for her man. Great goal…takes hard work and determination but good goal. I believe men and women have the ability to age like a fine wine or scotch.
‘Create a Shrine To His Cock’ – LOL!
OK, frankly, I think this is kind of overboard and I’m not on board with this suggestion of Kim’s.She suggests to literally ‘build a shrine’ with photos and candles.
Yikes! I hope her worship doesn’t involve blood sacrifice. I don’t think I’d like to wake up looking at my own personal cock shrine.
What I think she’s getting at is learn to love HIS cock and express it to him.
MORE
Kim has some great ideas on eating, grooming, beauty and personal development that I confess to just glancing over.
Kim also has guidelines for men too like wearing his wedding ring 24/7, let her spend time with her girlfriends and doing chores to name a few.
[Editor Jay Archer: As always I welcome and look forward to your feedback below]
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Sounds interesting. I just might invest some money into this : ) Thanks Jay
Very interesting! One of my problems is that I simply can’t fake it or pretend it’s “all that” if it isn’t. If there’s not enough foreplay (or whatever) I generally say so. I hear women in my circle say they fake it to please their men, but I simply can’t do it. However, I do need to work on the sexy beautiful part. Since being a stay at home mom, I’ve let myself get a little frumpy in appearance. Time to get the hair done, purchase new clothes and make-up. This article is a motivator.
The Geisha advice is good for women to hear and I hope , practice.
Being very feminine comes naturally to me, always has. And I’ve found even tho I’m middle aged , I have to beat men off with a stick. So ladies out there reading this……. it works, wear a dress and for gods sake shave, everywhere, curl your hair, wear perfume . Also my advice listen , don’t talk to much and then cook him your best meal, he’ll drop to his knees! You can take it from there……
Way to go, Geo!
This woman must wear her obi frontwards.
I must question her resources in regards to the information presented here -I assume she is regurgitating the fictional work of Arthur Golden. While it is true that sexual interactions with lower class clients decreased a Geisha or Maiko’s worth, it was never necessary for a Geisha to have sexual intercourse with anyone.
While her tips may be of great benefit, she should refrain from referencing cultures beyond her initial grasp -or willingness thereof. Geisha have never stressed the importance of sex upon their own -it is not business. Geisha is art in motion, not the foolish prostitutes whom posed as Geisha throughout the War era to earn a quick buck off of ignorant American soldiers.
I HAVE A QUESTION TO ASK ALL MARRIED MEN AROUND 50 YEARS OF AGE; WHY DO SOME OF YOU REFUSE TO WEAR YOUR WEDDING BAND?
EGV, i haven’t noticed the wedding ring thing. Could be that 50% are divorced or seperated.
Ladies, how common is this?
I have another question. Why Cant some women see a man’s wedding ring? It’s almost like a blind spot.
I completely agree with this! And yes upkeep is a MUST! It does get harder after hitting the BIG 40, but when 20 year olds say they want to look like you or wish they could…what a boost to the ego…which translates better sex!! STAY feminine!!
My man was just telling me yesterday that he loves the fact that he can take me anywhere and every other man is impressed at what he has, yet no one would ever guess what a vixen I am in the bedroom! He loves having that “secret knowledge” all to himself. It’s a big time boost to his ego!
A shrine to a cock! LMAO!! Well, I don’t have that, but my man knows that I have an “X-File” that is filled with pictures of him in the nude, mostly of his cock! I will email him at work and tell him I have been looking at the X-File, how gorgeous his cock is and what I am going to do with it when he gets home. Needless to say, on those days, he cannot wait to get home and have fun!!!
Cindy, calling him after browsing your x-file is a brilliant idea. I BET you runs home to you!
To: Geo and Cindy
I’m jealous!!
I used to be that way but felt pressure to be more (what’s that “B” word).
Belle, I understand what you are saying! At work I am known as the Ice Queen. My husband is always amazed at that as he has never seen that before. He thinks I am making it up. As women we wear many hats. The Ice Queen hat is always left at the door at work.
[...] What can you learn from the ghost lady and the frog and the fly? NO, that that women are food or men are animals…well, some are animals. But simply, if you want to attract a man, men or your man to be more attracted to you…act like a lady. (This goes back to the article on the ways of Geisha & maximizing your femininity.) [...]