“I’m a catch…loving, supportive and don’t ask him for stuff” she said.
“All he does is work, work, work. I just want to spend time with him…like having dinner together. I don’t understand why my man doesn’t want to spend time with me?! ”
“I feel like such a failure!” she confessed as she wept on my shoulder.
When you’re focused on something and not getting the result you want, when you want it…you can feel like a failure. Your relationship is no exception.
When I saw how much pain my friend was in and how simple it was for her man to make her happy it rattled me, because it felt like she was describing my relationship. It was a wake-up call for me.
It was clear they had different priorities. She is relationship focused and he is career focused.
When you are the “bread winner” of the household and you’re not winning any bread, what do you do? Work more and work harder! (The case with my friend’s relationship) It’s a vicious circle.
Ironically, the more of a “catch” you are, the more pressure a man feels. He perceives you as “succeeding” while he’s “failing” at his role, and 2 things happen:
1. He uses work to avoid his feelings of guilt and shame.
2. He gets “cold” because he doesn’t feel worthy of your love.
It’s hard for career centric people (men and woman) to realize that all the hard work and money can’t buy love, family and relationships.
If you’re in this situation, know that you’re NOT a failure until you’ve given up. So, never give up.
Now, go spend time with your man.
[EDITOR: Are you experiencing this situation? Share below.
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