#2 Male Sexual Fantasy Revealed
June 11, 2009 by Archer
You’ve probably been in this situation before.
…You rolled over in bed with your man and asked him…
What are you thinking?
To which he probably stuttered or mumbled some answer he thought you’d want to hear.
BUT, the truth is he may be on a mental vacation thinking about one of the top male sexual fantasies (that is, if he’s not thinking about work or money).
The odds are your man’s mind is occupied with one of the top 10 male sexual fantasies. The #2 most common male sexual fantasy is ‘Having sex with a woman other than your partner.’
- DON’T PANIC. This is a common male fantasy that 99.9% of men never indulge.
- DON’T take it personally.
- Don’t be too quick to judge. Sex with another man other than your own is a top female sexual fantasy, too. Maybe not yours but if you’re being honest with yourself could you really see you never fantasize about that sexy move star? Come on!
Why NOT help indulge and entertain his sexual fantasy? Become the “other woman!”
1st. Find out what type of woman he fantasizes about by asking a direct question and not giving up until you know his fantasy. Is it a virgin, dominant/submissive, school girl, nasty dirty woman etc…
(Don’t be offended if the fantasy differs from who or what you are)
2nd Become his fantasy
Women who are…uhum…paid for their pleasures and affections know the secret to satisfying a man is to transform herself into his fantasy. She knows to become the character in dress, attitude, voice tone, actions and way in which she gives or receives pleasure.
For example, if your man fantasizes about virgins he likely gets a rush from the idea that you would be scared but excited about having sex the first time. He’d also likely get a kick out of you pretending to not know what you’re doing, asking naive questions and he having to teach you.
A man fantasizing about having sex with another someone other than current partners is a very common fantasy for men (and women).
…When you become the other woman and YOU become his fantasy!
DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER: Ladies, I’m here to tell the truth about how men actually think and feel NOT tell you what women want to hear, believe or learn about men from their female friends. IF you want ‘feel good’, fluffy advice go read Cosmo magazine.
Popularity: 3%
Bullshit. It isn’t healthy to fantasize about other women. It isn’t healthy to ‘become’ the other woman. That is encouraging infidelity, hello?
And in case you were wondering , no, I do not fantasize about other men besides my husband. All of my fantasies involve him and no one else, even if they are fantasies he isn’t able to fulfill. For instance if I am fantasizing about it being my first time ever…I am not thinking about my ex. I am imagining that my first time was with my HUSBAND. THAT is healthy.
Now I am not saying that I won’t roleplay or do crazy things if he tells me he would like it. I refuse to pretend to be someone else, though. There IS a difference.
Nor am I saying I don’t occasionally get what I call a ‘flash fantasy’–which is just a random, unintentional thought of some other guy that just flashes through my mind & COULD become a fantasy but I just do not allow myself to do it. Sorry, I have morals.
And how about for a goddamn change, you men trying to please US instead of the other way around? How about you guys stop fantasizing about being single again, because hey, that would be MY number one fantasy. Why do women always have to be the ones to comply with YOUR sick fantasies? Grow up already. If you are thinking about other women you are not ready for a commitment so don’t get into a relationship.
i wish you have a better deal package with a better price, which is included: the ultimate fantasy package + the tutorial of giving head + talk dirty, so i could order everything at once and get everything at the same time. thank you
is there a kind of female that is the most popular choice to dream about?
im sorry but i dont understand how a guy can think about having sex with another girl when he is ‘in love’ they are disgusting
I really enjoy these tips! They are very helpful!!
Judy,
RE: “is there a kind of female that is the most popular choice to dream about?”
I will be covering that in a future article but I believe I gave a couple examples in this article.
J
Personally, I think it’s great advice because however much ‘in love’ people are, it doesn’t make them blind, they still see and appreciate the attractiveness of another person, they just choose not to act on it!
Of course, there are those like Zion who only have eyes for their partner and are able to focus 100% on them at all times, but the rest of us are just human and human nature has its quirks!
The reason I think it’s good advice (to all those who’re sceptical) is because by taking on the persona of whoever he’s fantasizing about and allowing him to live it out, with you and only you, you’re making sure he has no need to go elsewhere to try and live it with anyone else, plus, it has the added advantage of spicing things up, being fun and leading to you being able to tell him about your fantasies and getting him to play along!
I mean, let’s face it, if your fantasy is being pinned down and taken roughly, you probably don’t actually want to risk it happening in real ilfe but if you were able to tell your man once he’s admitted that he fantasizes about say, Princess Leah (Yes, I laughed when I heard that one, too!) or his Primary School teacher or (yes, I’ve heard this one, too!) then maybe you could get him to be the one to show you if the reality of being overpowered is any fun without the fear or the risk.
Or would you tell him you wanted to play 9 1/2 weeks food games or be treated like the girl in the Secretary, if he hadn’t admitted he fantasised about Felicity Kendall (hard act to follow, mind!) or Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman (expensive to get the costume right and not the easiest to get out of when he gets frisky! lol!) No, I didn’t think so!
Have fun!
And what if you are white and after 8 years together and 5 years of marriage he is fantasizing about black women?
I think this is bullshit. I never think of another man, and the fact that you’re saying this is healthy disgusts me. Why don’t you just tell us, its ok if he cheats on you he still loves you, or maybe you should degrade and hurt yourself by inviting another girl to join you two so you can watch the love of you life kissing, touching, and having sex with another girl. Yeah, way to look out for a girls self-esteem. That is my GREATEST fear! Thank you so much….If this is true, it is the very reason men don’t deserve ANY woman. The other tips I enjoyed and found helpful, but this just makes me cry…
Nice!!!! So if we want to strip for our husbands and show them a good time in our bedroom, then automatically we should stand for infadelity. What a crock of shit. It’s just an excuse for some guy to tell other guys that it’s o.k. to cheat. Therefore distroying family and possibly indangering their spouse with STD’s. We are not stupid, therefore I will not be swayed to believe that this would be “healthy” as you put it.
WOULD HE ACTUALLY DO IT?
Ladies, wow that was a strong reaction from some of you.
#1. Please don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just pulling statistics from surveys.
#2. 99.8% of men (or women) would never, ever follow through on their fantasy and cheat with another women.
That’s why they call it a…ahum…FANTASY.
Don’t worry.
J
By the way…
…The survey I pulled that information – male 2nd most frequent sexual fantasy- from was conducted by … a woman!
J
[...] NO ladies, this isn’t some lame attempt to makeup for the backlash after last week’s article revealing the #2 most frequent male sexual fantasy. (Read the passionate responses AND my updates to the article read here) [...]
DON”T SHOOT THE MESSENGER
1) The #2 most frequent fantasy STATISTIC is pulled from a survey.
Although you may not like the information it is fact and reality.
Question is – Armed with this info what will you do with it?
2) Infidelity = cheating.
Where did this article encourage anyone to cheat? I think the suggestion was more along the lines of ‘role playing’
I have been reading these comments, and they are so funny. Some of these women are so boisterous about their thoughts. Personally I believe that if you asked to recieve these types of email you shouldn’t be complaining. Your asking for help in pleasureing your men and yet you jump the same person you asked for help from. Thats kinda wrong, but hey thats my opinion.
My husband and I read these articles together and I ask him what he thinks and if he agrees and what not. However my husband and I have that type of relationship where I am comfortable asking him what he thinks and shareing these types of things with him. So I thank you Jay because I would never have known some of the things that I do now. I also tried this particular thing out, and it was a lot of fun. We changed it up a bit and made it go both ways. He askes me what type of guy I fantasy about and I told him and it was fun to become each others fantasies.
Ladies ladies ladies……… we are talking about men and their fantasy. We do not need to be threatened by the fact that men fantasize about other women. It’s just natural for them. They can’t help it…. and if they didnt’ fantazsize about other women even though they are IN LOVE …. well that would just be strange and unhealthy.
EVERYONE fantasizes. In fact, you have to fanasize about something when you masturbate. It’s very rare for people to think about their current partner when they masturbate to completion. We have to have a fantasy… our current partner is who we are with now. That is not a fantasy, that is reality.
Lighten up ladies. You can’t fight mother nature.
Blissfully, Chrystal
Sex Expert, Pleasur Coach & Chief Toy Diva
for BlissConnection.com
I agree 100% with Kathryn, if an answer is going to hurt then the reader shuld skip the response to the question.
Responses published will reflect the opinions of the individuals included in the survey – not the opinion of absolutely everyone, and thats what is so wonderful about people – everyone is individual and different.
My hubby and I have great fun pretending to be walking in the shoes of different people. I even set up an email account and corresponded with him as “his other fantasy woman”. It’s fun – a game we share and cetainly not harmful.
I am inclined to believe that. Because ladies, we are kidding ourselves if we think our men are constantly fantasizing about us – hence its called a “fantasy” – My husband and I have been married for over 20 years, and I do fantasize about other men, just as he does, but thats just it. Sex is sex – are you willing to risk everything else you have built – come on now…
We do talk about what we like more of or less of or where and when.. I will change up on my husband in a minute – he doesn’t know who is coming home from the hairdresser – LOL
Just as Kathyn stated, we read articles – to get each others opinions, look at “Live Sex” shows and talk through them – we find ideas, but we also find our likes, dislikes.
Sex is something that God created for a man and woman to enjoy with each other – that is part of our marriage creed, so am I concerned if he fantasies about another woman – NO, because 9x out of 10, I have looked like that woman, and if not, I will..
One last thing – its not just about him, its about you too ladies – if your man love the strip club, take some pole dancing classes, keeps you in shape and keeps him wanting more!!
So glad I came across these articles, they are great to keep things interesting and together, I can NOT wait for the next one. So glad to hear straight up talk and info. Keep it going. THANKS
what you are saying makes so much sense. men are men and fantisizing about doing something else is not a big deal (as long as he dont cheat!!!!) … sometimes, esp in long-term relationship, things get monotonous and guys get bored. so changing into a different personality in the bedroom, his fantisy, is not an issue. it doesnt mean you have to change who you are, it means being more open for new and better options. i did that too, and i must say ladies, you might just love it!!!!!!!
if you are a bit scared start small, have a new hairstyle, a new outfit that just hugs your booty, put on a sexy number to bed, go to lap dance classes. i know there are still some women who feel bj is the most disgusting thing ever but it is life changing, esp if you get the correct guide. read books… i too used to be like that. in the nutshell, let loose. every women has a kinky side of them, let that tiger loose…
It’s true ladies, but you’re applying female logic to it. Yes guys fantasise about other women from time to time. I fantasize about my current girlfriend more than other girls but at the end of the day if men didn’t fantasize then there would not be such a large sex industry and advertising wouldn’t be about semi naked women draped over a product. I would never in a million years cheat on a girl, but a fantasy is just that – a daydream. Don’t get too bent out of shape over this it’s just how it is and always has been.
A satisfied man never fantasizes – Freud
So if you fantasize about others, better check your love life. Whatever people may say here fantasy isn’t good, it starts in the mind, you become less turned on by your partner, in turn, fantasies increase, a snowball builds up, and hop, sex with your SO isn’t satisfying.
Actually there are some women and very few guys who don’t fantasize about others.