The Joys Of Gagging?

On June 11, 2010, in Understanding Men, by Jay Archer

alphamaleAnswers-logoI often get asked Q: “How do I stop gagging during blow jobs?”

Sometimes I reply “Why would you want to?” Let me explain…

‘Gagging’ Definition - when the head of his penis triggers your gag reflex during oral sex – causing one to make the sound ‘gaaaa.’

Ironically, to men gagging is a compliment. Like belching after a meal is a compliment to the host or cook is in some cultures. (OK…gross analogy. Sorry)

Is it juvenile? YES. Does it feel good for our stupid male ego? Yes. It’s like saying “Wow! Your cock is so big! I can’t take it!” Actions speak louder than words, don’t they?

No, gagging is not the most pleasant thing or the most comfortable. In fact it’s kind of counter intuitive that something normally associated with something disgusting or being sick can be a compliment.

Am I saying men want you to gag or you should gag? NO! I’m simply hoping to ease your anxiety or embarrassment about it. Hey, gagging happens! Don’t worry. Men understand and it’s kind of cute. Just be mindful to not let gagging get in the way of being enthusiastic about oral sex, OK?

You may want to give a deepthroat blow job and that skill can be learned. Absolutely! (Let me tell you, there is nothing quite like a good deep throat)  But for now, until you can master the deep throat just work it into your routine…Look up at him with your teary, doe eyes and say “It’s so big.”

To a man that phrase is like standing on a podium in front of an audience, accepting an award and flash bulbs are going off all around!

by an Alpha Male – Jay Archer
Master Your Man.com

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49 Responses to The Joys Of Gagging?

  1. Archer says:

    Checkout my new MOST POPULAR ARTICLES widget on the RIGHT side.

  2. Megan says:

    I always wondered why my husband likes that. LOL I’ve been working on the deep throating but he still likes me to gag on it. Very inyeresting

  3. Gloria golnick says:

    I find that it is a matter of me relaxing. If the guy is to pushy I tend to gag. Where as if he lets me take control I am more relaxed and therefore don’t gag.

  4. Michele McLendon says:

    I agree with the writer. Gagging is a compliment. Just don’t gag every single time you put it in your mouth. Learn how to do other things with your mouth and tongue that delight him just as much and the occasional gag will be like a huge compliment. I know that the guys I gag on really enjoy this.

  5. Betty says:

    J – You just make my day!!! I just read about “gagging” and I’m still laughing. I know men like that. And it’s funny really. But you are right, it’s like standing in front of a big audience and getting applause and cameras flashing. And what man in his right mind wouldn’t like that?! I just love all you men!!! So charming, loveable, funny, childlike, and so very, very sexy!!! Men are the best thing that was ever put on this planet!! – - – I love your emails. Keep em cumming (giggle). bettyjean PS – thanks for a little glimpse of you. Pretty HOT from what I can see! Those brown eyes are always a winner here.

  6. Jan says:

    When are the books/articles going to come out about pleasing us women lol.. its always about us pleasing you men…

    • Archer says:

      Jan, you’re right!!! I should have a product for pleasing you women and I do on another site.

      I didn’t realize you would want to hear about it.

      How many of you would like to know about it?

      Would you buy it for your man OR make home buy it?

      Jay

  7. Tracy says:

    YES!!! I agree with this article 1000%..When you are taking your man’s cock to the point of nearly choking yourself, you are showing him how good it feels to you to have him in your mouth..and if you manage to not get him scraped with your teeth during this, the tightening squeezing reflexive action of your throat and tongue on his cock is exciting..I haven’t had any of my partners complain about this..they would only complain if their partner stopped trying to please them and be pleased in return.

    • Archer says:

      Personal story…

      I had a girlfriend who would get so passionate during sex that she would literally try to swallow my cock.

      I NEVER asked her to do this – in fact I never even considered it an option or that Imit was possible when I was 22. She was completely driven by passion and felt compelled to do it! And it was amazing!

      Who am I to judge or deny her? (did I mention it felt great?) I didn’t say “Hey, stop that you pervert! Let’s get back to missonary.” Nope.

      Just like I would never judge the male friend of me who likes to get pegged by his wife. (search pegging at the top of the page for definition). Hey, not my thing but but then again I don’t know why I don’t like salt and vinegar chips either.

  8. Luxy says:

    I would be interested in the other site

  9. Anonymous says:

    You do not ‘master your man’ by treating him like he’s 12 and pandering to his weak ego. As if I’d deign to be with a man with a weak ego. Gagging is extremely uncomfortable, unpleasant, can be messy if she vomits which is a mood killer, and potentially dangerous since HEY she has to breathe too, buddy! Any man who would want his lady to go through all of that to feed his ego during a blow job – isn’t a man – just a boy dressed up pretending to be one.

  10. woot says:

    I agree with anonymous. Why would a decent honorable man want you to “gag”? Only a perv who is selfish and only cares about his sexual wants.

    To be honest a lot of the stuff this guy tells you is from a perverts perspective. I have run through this stuff with my man (and he is the most wonderful man I have ever met, decent, caring and completely satisfying) and he said “WTF?”

    Your man (if he is a real man) should want you to feel comfortable and not do anything you don’t want to do.

    And in regard to a previous article, you shouldn’t have to get off on a vibrator to make your man jealous. How is doing that normal? Wouldn’t you want to let him know that he is the only one that can satisfy you and make you melt in the bedroom. I’m sure him knowing that will make him want to satisfy you even more.

    And who cares if you can’t lap dance how this guy says you should – if “your man” loves you he will love it regardless – you are naked in front of him shaking it for heavens sakes.

    Sorry ladies but if your guy is loving all this crap and isn’t happy with “YOU” then he isn’t worth it. You are only satisfying his sexual perverted urges, not sexual ones that are stemmed from love..

    A lot of this is just crap!

    • Archer says:

      Woot,

      I’m curious, and sure a few readers are too, if your sex life is fantastic and your man the most wonderful (btw, congrats) …why the hell are you on this site?

      Perhaps ‘Better Homes and Gardens’ is more your thing.

      Lablelling other people ‘perverts’ because they are into different things than you is…well…anyone want to fill in the blank for me?

      Maybe you could help me understand amd enlighten me on the subjects and topics you’d like to read about?

      Jay

  11. Me says:

    Anonymous… all men are boys didn’t you know that? I think that is the point of all of Jay’s articles. Men are simple to please (or master) because they are so driven by sex and ego. Unlike us who are a bit more complicated and almost impossible to please.

    But also I was going to say that if there are any women who want to practice deepthroating without worrying about the possibility of throwing up they do make numbing gels you can apply to the back of your tongue and throat. They are flavored and they aren’t so strong that you don’t feel anything. You can also use them for anal if that hurts you. I’ve also heard them be used for a man that is hyper sensitive and cums too easily.

    Fun things from a sex toy party… this one was a hit with almost every girl in the room… for one reason or another. :)

  12. rebekah says:

    Hi.. I kinda got to say I knew it :) .. My bf loves it, at first I thought it was the wrong thing to do and then he told me he reall does like it although he could not explain why.. Lol.. I would also like to add that not all women like it and yes most would run away, but some of us are unique and enjoy odd things like gagging and punking, which has happened to me before it was not that bad the special sexual and non sexual treatment got after that meant a lot more to me.. I guess one just has to communicate with their partner :)

  13. Belle says:

    I think the trick is to relax and not view gagging as an error. Just keep on going, and chew some gum to keep your mouth lubricated.
    One of my favorite books on this topic is : “Tickle His Pickle”. The author gives some fantastic tips for the unskilled.

  14. Belle says:

    Hey Jay,
    I see you have a new “Blow Job” video. That’s great because there’s only so much one can learn from just looking at pictures and reading text.

    • Archer says:

      Belle, you’re right about new blow job video. I think most people learn faster by watching. But I try to combine different learning modalities for different Types of learners.

  15. amber says:

    judgmental…..there is a word for you Jay. I always thought that i shouldn’t gag for my husband but whenever he grabs my hair and does what he knows we both like …..that is when i learned it was ok. The way i look at it if it makes you and your partner happy then who cares what everyone else thinks. I would never call my husband a pervert cause he likes it when i gag on him. We have found other things that we like too which i am sure are way more out there than gagging. But i just want to thank you Jay a lot of your articles have helped me out a lot. I just really felt the need to comment on this one for apparent reasons. Keep up the good work in helping me make my man cum harder and harder

    • Archer says:

      Amber,

      ‘Judgemental’ that’s the word I was looking for! Thanks for chiming in.

      I’m so glad to hear you and your man are rockin’ each others’ world. Good news, hun! He is a lucky man to have you. Remind him if that for me, OK?

    • Archer says:

      Amber,

      I’m curious, would you be willing to share what you two are into that are as you say “way more out ther than gagging?”

  16. Amanda says:

    First of I would fill in the blank with deprived hypocrites whom I pitty. And secondly I am def interested in this product you speak of so please share, lastly I will answer your question: I am on your site because as much as I love my husband I sometimes feel inadequet (my self esteem issues) so I get a little confidence boost from your articles, i probably sound like a nut but whatever, just speaking my mind.

    By the way… How does your girl like the sight? I imagine you have to have a very satisfied woman at home…

    • Archer says:

      Amanda, I would say we all, men and women, feel inadequate and insecure from time to time so take comfort in knowing you are not alone, ok?

      Lol – my lady prefers to spend her time on facebook – but I do run some articles past her for thoughts and ideas.

  17. Amanda says:

    Ps… I’m training myself to conrol gagging by takin it slow and easy… Which reminds me of the first time he “accidentally” went in the back door…LOL

  18. Belle says:

    Don’t mind Woot. There’s nothing wrong with a little controversy at times. I can deal with “pervert”, as long as things don’t turn racial. Woot does have some valid points although her way of expressing them may be a little direct. I’m glad Jay was able to invite her to participate more by expressing some topics she’d be interested in.
    And by the wayJay, are you sure she’s not some jeaous old flame?

    Just kidding : )

  19. Juicy says:

    Woot,why don’t you stop reading this column and just shut the hell up! Obviously this isn’t for you. I love gagging on my man’s cock!!! He’s no pervert,and I enjoy tickling his ego.

  20. B says:

    I love it when my bf makes me gag, i find it a real turn on, I just love giving him BJ’s! thanks to you Jay for your help on bj tips i combine all the tips you provided to give him a very pleasing bj.
    Thanks so much x

  21. Belle says:

    Hey Jay,
    I know this is a little off the topic, but do you know where erotic comic books can be purchased?

  22. Belle says:

    Thanks Jay. Your lead proved to be successful. I plan to share this information with my husband. I can’t wait to see if this type of eroticism brings pleasure to him as well. And just to tie it in with the topic, perhaps there will be illustrations of characters doing just what this topic is suggest.

  23. lara says:

    woot is right..

    a man should love you for you and never want you to do something you don’t want to do…that being said…how many people here actually “wanted” to take a cock in their mouth the first time versus “wanted” to do something that gave him pleasure..

    I distinctly remember when i first heard what a bj was..you put your mouth on his penis!! where he pee’s from..omg..gross..i will never do that..why would any woman do that or even crazier enjoy it!!!

    and i do have to admit in the beginning only my boyfriend really enjoyed the blowjobs…but ohh how things change.. now i enjoy it nearly as much as man In fact i was rather freaked out the first time a boy stuck his tongue in my mouth

    ….Everything about sex takes a little thought open mindedness and experience to get comfortable with before it becomes erotic…So no there is nothing wrong with stepping out of our comfort zone and trying something new in because it will turn him on and therefor us on..most of us would still be virgins..considering how nervous most girls are the first time

    • Archer says:

      Lara,

      1) Great comment on your impression of sex, 1st experiences and open mindedness

      Note to everyone…

      2) To be clear, I never advocate doing ANYTHING you don’t feel comfortable or want to do.

      3) Neither do I advocate going out of your way to ‘gag’ or forcing yourself to ‘gag’ in order to satisfy him. I simply stated that gagging happens – don’t be too uptight about it.

      (Although, truthfully some women here will agree they do – and that’s OK)

  24. sweethandy says:

    Hello to eveyone! I used to not enjoy giving BJs so much but, after my divorce and finding a man I truly love I counldn’t enjoy pleasing him more! I too try to devour his penis on occasion. He though is loosing a little interest in sex with me all together after 5 years so I come to you for help in reviving his sex drive. Thanks so much to all who leave great comments and Thanks for this site. We all need help from time to time no matter how perfect our sex lives are! To any negative minded people we all have our opinion but, theres no need for name calling! This world is filled with all types pf people and as long as they are healthy and happy and God fearing is there anything more to worry about? P.S. I too love the Eye!!!! Leaves some to the imagination!!!!!

    • Archer says:

      Sweethandy,

      I love the word ‘devour.’ That’s such a great word. We should all devour our lovers more, shouldn’t we?

      Yes – we all do need help from time to time … an all areas of our life. No shame in asking.

      Thanks for the compliment on my ‘eye’ image. It’s kind of like ‘showing a bit of ankle’ was 50 years, isn’t it?

      I wish more readers would include a picture of some sort – makes the comments more colorful, doesn’t it? BTW, you don’t have to use your face BUT you can edit your face just like I did without software when you signup for your gravatar.

  25. amber says:

    Jay not sure if others would be able to handle it or not but bondage isn’t that bad either. I am not just talking about tying me to the bed. What we do is very hard core. It is not for the weak at heart, it is not for the prudes who would go WTF???? I sometimes have my husband wrap a scarf around my neck to pull me the way he wants for his blow job, and yes i gag when i do which seems to turn him on so much the more. And yes he does choke And when he goes in my back door it is no accident lmao. ;)

  26. Kris says:

    Jay, I have been reading some of the comments on the last article. First I have to say that I love you’re article and look forward to them every week.

    I am turning 30 this year and decided that there was so much more to sex. I do occasionally gag, I love giving my man blowjobs, even when I gag it doesn’t make me a pervert or him a pervert. Everyone has there own sex style, and each to his own. My man makes me happy in every aspect of life and I love to return the favor in the bedroom, giving him pleasure gives me pleasure. I am just breaking my way into the world of bondage and other things along that line, it wasn’t really my mans style but he loves me so we are taking it slowly together. Some articles in that direction would be great.

    I love the articles, dont stop writing them! If some one doesn’t like it then they should choose to read something different!

  27. Saira says:

    i feel so much better. thanks

  28. Maria says:

    Jay, all I want to say is I have learned so much from all the tips and information you provide. My husband and I enjoy our sex from the hair pulling, throat gagging, etc. it is about love and pleasing each other, thanks again.

    • Archer says:

      Maria, I’m greatful for your kind words. Thanks for taking the time to write this. At times it’s hard to know if I’m reaching anyone.

      Siunds like your sex life rocks, too!

      J

  29. Batgirl says:

    I spoke to my guy about this article and he was outraged, he said that if some one is gagging there are choking and why would you want the person that you love to be choking.

    But as in everything in life everyone has their own opinions

    • Archer says:

      Batgirls, different strokes for different folks.

      Here’s an example – is your man an ass or breast man? Rhetorical question to illustrate my point.

  30. Batgirl says:

    DId you not read my last line?????

  31. Batgirl says:

    This last line

    “But as in everything in life everyone has their own opinions”

  32. Jaylynn says:

    What an awesome way to explain this-now I know eervythnig!

  33. Joeyz says:

    I like it when a woman gags on my cock and tries harder and harder.I think watching the cock slowly disappear down their throat is super sexy,till the nose rests on my groin.I like it when they gag and some spit comes out down the sides of the penis onto my groin.

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