Do You Have Mismatched Libidos?

On April 13, 2011, in Better Sex Tips, by Jay Archer

Low sex drive, libido or sexual disinterest…it doesn’t really matter what name you give it,  if one person in the relationship wants sex more than the other you’re probably feeling the impact in other parts of your relationship, right?

Kim Switnicki“If you and your partner have different libidos then it will have a direct impact on your relationship outside of the bedroom.”

Kim Switnicki, Sex Expert & Author of Great Sex for Hard Times

I want you to meet Kim Switnicki, sex expert and award winning author, so I interviewed her about what she claims is one of the most common issues she encounters with her clients….Mismatched Libidos. When you want sex more than him or he wants it more than you do and what to do about it.


Part 1 :: Mismatched Libido Interview with Author Kim Switnicki

Part 2 = What you can do to resolve a mismatched sex drive?


Part 2 Kim Switnicki

You’ll see, hear and read more of Kim Switnicki on Master Your Man so stick around.

[ Editor Jay Archer :: Have any questions for Kim ask them below? Do you like this new video interview format? Want to see more? Comment below ]

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13 Responses to Do You Have Mismatched Libidos?

  1. Mary says:

    my lover is 64 and he has a sex drive and is a great lover, the problem is he has a problem ejaculating, he can’t ejaculate when we have sex, but enjoys sex and can perform exceedingly well, always leaves me satisfied, the only way he can ejaculate is if I give him oral sex and many times needs to watch porn to ejaculate which doesn’t matter to me but would llike for him to ejaculate when we have sex, I am 74 years old and have no problems at all can reach multiple orgasms which he loves, and always sees to it that I do, no dryness problems with me, and I do kind of ejaculates, his staying powers are huge he is like the energiser bunny and we have sex once a week and have sex for prolonged periods of time which I do love, we have no problems asking for what we want sexually and we are comfortable with each another to ask for what we want or need, he says having sex feels good and he would llike to be able to ejaculate while inside of me but it just doesn’t happen, I enjoy giving him oral sex so that is not an issue and sometimes I have an orgasm doing it, any ideas? We have a great relationship and enjoy having sex with each other, sometimes we just take a time out for a while and grab a bite to eat and go back to having sex and always have morning sex, and usually I give him oral sex at night and again in the morning I wake him with oral sex I know this may sound unbelievable but we do experimentiment and try things different positions and different places in the house and we leave the lights on because we enjoy watching each other during sex, yes sex is alive and well with the elderly, and we also enjoy anal sex, we have no inhiibitions with each other, could it be mental or what can his problem be, I know he does ejaculate during oral sex, could it be mental or just that with my age looseness and extreme wetness there is not enough friction even with oral sex it takes him a very long time to ejaculate he knows I enjoy doing it and as I told him I have all the time you need, and it is not attitude, I do enjoy doing it and he knows it, he has said that most of the time in the past that the women involved just gave up, and he has said he wishes he could ejaculate imside of me, what can I do to help? Could it be that he masturbates too much when we are apart, he does every night while watching a porn movie which doesn’t bothe mer as I masturbate some times too. We are very open about sex and have fun with it, and desire or erection problems are not what is causing the problem we get turned with each other just kissing, maybe I should just not worry about itt as and leave it as status quo, what are your thoughts or ideas? As far as I can see we are both open minded with sex, and both enjoy it love to experiment and have no trust issues, we do play with vibrators, and we both do kegelling exercises.

  2. Hello everyone!

    I apologize for the sporadic banging noise in the first video – it was a crazy robin banging against my window. It’s mating season and he is attacking his reflected image thinking it is his competition :) Not too smart, but you know how men can be when they are really horny and wanting a woman! I’m kidding – a little – but it does go to show you that sex can make us do crazy things. Men or women!

    Kim

  3. Em says:

    I loved this. :)

    • Angela says:

      I loved this interview thank you so much!

      It is very true that most women will not enjoy being penetrated for 40 minutes. What can a woman do, besides setting the mood, forplay, Kegel exercices, talking dirty (not in a cheesy way), to make her man orgasm in less time? My boyfriend has gone from 2hours to 1 hour. The “shortest” time has been 40 minutes. I was used to slow things down so it would last longer…. Now I’m avoiding sex with my current boyfriend. Help!

      Thank you

      Angie

      • Hi Angie,
        One of the things to remember in this situation is your comfort – and even pleasure – level. If you are drying up and/or getting uncomfortable you are doing yourself and your body a disservice by not disengaging in penetration. Have you tried giving him oral and manual stimulation before intercourse? He may also think you enjoy long lasting intercourse if you have let on that you’re having fun. Don’t respond positively when you aren’t feeling it! Perhaps ask him what positions are his favourite and simply let him know you’re getting a bit tender or sore or dry and if he doesn’t stop right away, he really isn’t worth having sex with. Hope this helps a little. Can be frustrating! Good luck, Angie.

        Kim

  4. Dagny says:

    I really enjoyed that :) I have a bit of a problem with my Boyfriend in this department sometimes. I realise that he is tired and stressed. He also has some health issues so I do make allowances, but it can be frustrating when you’re ready to go and he’s just not. Can make you think that you’re not attractive or something..The sex we do have is fantastic though. I’m off out for a big walk :) Gonna make sure I drink S&*%loads of water too :) Thanks for a great interview :)

  5. Glad you enjoyed it :) There is certainly nothing wrong with self pleasure and you can include him in whatever capacity he is comfortable in assisting. He might just want to snuggle up to you while you play with yourself. He may even find it arousing, but don’t pressure him and just enjoy yourself. Remember that we ALL have differnet sex drive levels and they do change. If he’s told you that you turn him on but he’s just tired, stressed, etc. then beleive him, girl! There is nothing wrong with either of you – as long as you communicate your needs lovingly. We are all responsible for our own pleasure :) Enjoy the spring and the water!
    Kim

  6. des says:

    my husband and i have been married for 5 yrs and he has had a vasectomy a few years ago he says ever since he had it done he doesnt have a big sex drive any more how can i help him get it back we use to have sex 5-6 days out off the week (which was good for me!) but now we only go once a wk if that please help!!! thank you so much.

  7. Hello Des

    The first thing I suggest is to have him get his hormone levels checked out by his physician. If that is all okay, then perhaps some personal coaching to help him get past whatever is in his way of his natural sex drive. A vasectomy in no way diminishes a man’s sex drive from a physical standpoint. It can, however, affect him emotionally so speaking with a coach could resolve that issue. My first question to him would be to see if he even wants to have more of a sex drive. He may be fine with where he is. In that case, I suggest coaching for you to help you be more comfortable and even happy about the place where you’re both at. Hope this helps. You or he can set up a 30 minute complimentary consultation with me by going to https://my.timedriver.com/5XJFH Good luck to you!

  8. Taryn says:

    Hello- you talk about being able to communicate sex with our partner. My husband goes against everything I learned as a young woman growing up. He is not that into sex, so he claims, and never talks about anything. I enjoy talking about sex, one of my favorite subjects. Any tips on how to get my man to be more open?

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