Hi, let me introduce myself. I’m a man who loves being a man and lover of women. But more than 1 woman has called me a ‘jerk’ because I call ‘em like I see ‘em and sometimes it isn’t what women want to hear. I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not. You can call me a JERK I don’t really care.
A woman asked me…
Do you like my dress? It was designed by _____ and cost $850 dollars!
WTF!
First, this may surprise you but men don’t give a shit who designed your dress. Seriously, we don’t care!
We don’t spend our times reading Cosmo and looking at the pictures so we don’t know who you’re talking about, what it means or get the significance – if there is any. (We’re more into looking at sports, cars, news, gadgets, porn etc..)
Second, men don’t care if it cost $10 or $2000. We can’t tell the frickin’ difference, OK? A different woman told me her dress cost $5 and I was just as shocked (it was made of silk and looked pretty nice to me).
Third, we could give a shit about the fancy wrapper. All we care about is how you look in your dress – it’s just glorified wrapping paper to men. Honestly, we all wish x-ray glasses actually worked so we could see through your outfit at how you ladies look underneath your clothes BEFORE we commit to unwrapping.
Fourth, if you’re single and telling guys you spend $850 on a single dress you might as well get a tattoo on your chest that reads:
‘WARNING High Maintenance‘
I’ll tell you, when she asked me about her dress all that was going through my mind was “I’m going to have to work like a slave to keep this chick happy.”
Finally, you can dress a pig in a silk robe but it’s still a pig.
Listen, the dress doesn’t make the woman – the woman does. Focus on taking care of your figure 1st and dressing it 2nd. That way you could dress in a garbage bag and men would still fall all over themselves to talk to you.
You’re not impressing any man with an expensive dress. Actually, the opposite.
A wise man will compliment your outfit but just be aware he’s probably trying to imagine you without it.
[Editor Jay Archer : OK, let The Jerk know what you think ]
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OK ladies. You can start throwing your virtual tomatoes now.
Not a jerk but rather a wise man who obviously has experience with women
Some men,high-maintanence themselves DO know the difference but who wants to deal with them?
I totaly agree with staying in shape and your confidence will “dress you” no matter what you wear!
Dear Erotic Jerk – The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere. Frankly, I love your sincerity. I’m the mom of 5 boys so I already get this – hope some other women get it too, esp the ones my boys’ ages!
No virtual tomatoes needed…I agree with this.
The woman (or man) should wear the clothes, not the other way around. I care more about how I feel in something than the
designer or cost (although I LOVE a good deal,lol)
Be clean, be comfortable. Enough said.
No tomatoes?
Come on ladies there have to some defenders of the dress who want to lash out at The Jerk.
No tomatoes from me! I’ve always thought that I make whatever I wear look good. I completely agree with you and think its a very good point. But then again I’ve been told by some of my girl friends that I tend to think like a guy, meaning a guy may like the dress the best when its on the floor. Haha.
Miss alli,
I agree – Most guys like the dress at around your ankles.
“Does the dress at my ankles make my breats look bigger?”
If the person who wrote this is a jerk I seriously have a problem because it seems I love jerks.
I like it. It says directly “Hey! What matters isn’t the dress. It’s the person that’s wearing the dress.”
Congratulations
No tomatoes here… I actually agree with you! I’m not any different from most women, I like to get “dressed up” and wear pretty dresses and sexy underthings… those “wrappings” make us girls feel good about ourselves, BUT those pretty things don’t MAKE us who we are!! Personally, I like the beautiful dress even more if I’ve bought it off the sale rack!! And if I’m hiking a mountain trail, I can feel just as pretty in shorts and a tank top with no make up! I think the key is to be happy with yourself first and foremost… you should be able look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Do I like what I see?”. If you can truthfully and confidently answer “yes”, that’s all you need! Then if a man compliments your dress or the way you look in it, you know he really means it!!
I completely agree with you spending that much on a dress is crazy and I would rather rock a less expensive dress that I could have a good time in not worrying about ruining it…
Sorry, no tomatoes. I work construction, so I know more about the male psyche than most women care to.
They don’t give a shit what you’re wearing so long as it looks good. Nothing makes their eyes glaze like girl talking about her designer clothes or women issues. Some guys like dressing their women up and making them look good (trophy!) but it’s not that common.
I really don’t care about clothes, the whole point is to make myself feel and look good, and look good for my guy. And as for dresses, they’re better when they’re hiked up around the hips or left on the floor.
You want tomatoes?? lol and i was starting to think you really understood women… well the women who read your site anyway… granted there will be some who would get offended by your comments, but i doubt they are intrested in understanding men.
and i agree with everything you have said in the article…. this one lol… thanks for all the insights. i always look forward to reading your atticles every week..
Not a jerk at all, he’s completely right. hell, I would even hate a friend talking to me about where they bought their clothes or asking if I like them and I’m a woman! Not all women care about the “girly stuff”. although I must admit I am kind of a tum boy and tend to think kind of like a man, most of my friends are men too.
Which reminds me I would really appreciate an article on how to be sexy without necessarily being girly. a bit off topic, i know.
but just thinkin, not all tum boys are bisexual or gay, some of us want to make guys crazy too without having to pretend we are something we’re not!
keep up the great job guys!
ok, if that was right, then hollywood stars would wear everyday clothes, not designers’. Usually that kind of clothing has nice fabrics colours etc. I’ll try to give an example for men to get me. It’s like not getting the difference(in the appearence)between a mazda and a ferrari… And it’s not only about designer’s.. Mostly it’s about taste that men don’t get. It’s frustrating when i wear my best new perfect dress, heels, hair done and make up on and my man compliments me when i’m with my pjs-or not(kinda sweet though). So i disagree in a way but i know eventually i’ll have to compromise.. sad but true.
Dimitra,
I like your example of Mazda and Ferrari.
But here’s my point: think of the body of car the dress and the engine the body of a woman. Men want what’s ‘under the hood.’
A Mazda dressed as a Ferrari is still a Mazda. Get it?
I laughed reading this. I really wish some of my air-headed, affluent relatives would read this -that way they would stop bothering with pouring thousands of dollars to dress up a body image which they constantly bitch about.
I’m no prize pig myself, yet their inclination -no, obsession towards wrapping a (theoretical) turd in silk is absurd.
Candid is appreciated. I look forward to reading more articles like this.
Hey Dimitria,
I understand where you’re coming from regarding the ‘celebrities wear designer labels’ argument. However, you do realize that these people can also afford to up-keep themselves easily, and probably would not be caught dead in a regular mall because of paparazzi? Designer labels are a nice way of selling the same crap you could find on a Wal-Mart shelf, at a higher price, to those who are affluent enough to not give a damn about how much money they are flushing down the toilet. They don’t have to budget, thus little thought goes into their shopping -splurge, splurge, splurge, and ‘ooh! Is that the NEW Louis Vuitton?’
Yes, some of the fabrics may be lavish; I have seen plenty of cotton dresses on the $1000+ rack. Big labels = frequent extortion of those whom have more money than they need. As far as ‘men not getting taste’ goes, the good man explained it in the article -men do not care, mainly because they do not keep up with womens’ fashion, thinking little of it. ‘Taste’ is subjective. I think I’ll stick to my subjective rendition of good taste by shopping at affordable stores -like Suzy Shier. Affordable class.
A turd in a tuxedo is still a turd in a tuxedo.
Jerk
I think this was amazing!!! Men and women are a pain in the ass with how much or what ever they are wearing…its true, men dont care and some of our women also do not care about your shirt,pants price or name brand!
Those men and women are a pain in the ass….!!
Amen to all the delightful gods and goddesses for understanding what’s most important-
archer,
ok i’ll have to consider your opinion… your example with the mazda and the ferrari made me think a bit more.. As Kristi said maybe it’s always a turd in a tuxedo
I agree with your principal, but I do not think it’s very accurate. Most of the men I know would not be seen dead in warehouse (I’m from New Zealand, so forgive me for brand differences – basically department store, I think) brand clothing. They definitely favour the better, more expensive labels for themselves – billabong, ripcurl, calvin clein, triumph brand, converse. Don’t get me started on shoe brands.
So in my experience, all men (and have a lot of guy mates) do think brands are cool. Maybe they are too lazy to get to know or maybe they don’t care about the brands women wear, but it is not fair to give the impression that men are not superficial about clothing at all, because, in my experience, they are.
I viewpoint that is a little more balanced would be really appreciated.
I’m not saying what I have pointed out is true of everyone, either. Looking after your body and working on your character is more important then clothing brands
P.S and as for the Mazda vs. Ferrari arguement. take a pair of worked 350 chev engines and chuck one into a ’69 camaro and the other into a mazda. which one would most men go for? Same with two women with smoking bodys. give one cheap clothes, and the other expensive (ie, well cut, and designed to enhance her body) clothes, which one would you guys want to meet first?
i think Lee get’s what i meant
Kristi,
well, i’ll have to say that i come from a wealthy family, but never showed that in labels or anything.. Actually my favourite dress was a simple one from zara. It’s just the fact that you usually find more beautiful and flattering clothes at designers. As for the taste, what i meant is that yesterday for example, i was at a club. Most women were dressed with hot shorts and revealing shirts, high heels etc… I went the other way-a long white dress, big beautiful earrings, discreet make up, ancient greek style and natural beauty, no need to show much… They kept looking at me and then looked at others girls with surely not better bodies, just “slut dressed”. So i’m not sure it’s always about a steaming body, it’s also how “cheap” the outfit seems(and i’m not talking about a price). I think that an outfit shows personality and i’m not sure men can get that. Maybe i’ll have to see the whole issue from another point of view.
Many-many comments on this article.. That has to mean something. When there’s debate, its a good article for sure.
Have you noticed the massive increase in designer menswear, beauty and hair-style products in the last couple of decades??!! There are too many pretty boys around these days – they are outdoing and outspending many women. I like men to be men, and women to be women (it’s more fun that way to).
Also, you boys, “what do you really want anyway?” If you want women to be ladies and feminine, then wearing dresses ( and taking them off) is part of the deal. Stylish (not exorbitently expensive) and attractive women by your side makes you look and feel good too.
So a bit of honesty please, and not the jerk’s diatribe – it really is being sexist.
Oh…. and the photo of the pig is an insult to pigs.
Tooduley pip!!
just like men
no tomatoes….but I really like this article………the price of a dresss really doesnt matter to men….me and my fiance have been together for almost 6 years now and in that time it never bothered him of what i wear because I always loook good……meaning i have a good body figure……and i keeep myself loookin my best in whatever i wear. people always compliment me even in my tracks and a t shirt…they say i have an exotic body figure and i just look sexy no matter what i wear or how my hair is or if my make up is on or not….i think you just neeed to feel good about urself and take care of ur body……..and i dont think wearing “slutty” clothes really makes a difference….i wear shorts and skirts mostly all through summer and half of the skirts i own are mini skirts but that doesnt make you a slut , its just the way you want to dress, and mini skirts are beautiful pieces of clothing and cheap too! long skirts are beautiful tooo and just by puttin on different pieces of clothing doesnt change your personality, its the way you act. Im a life insurance agent, i am very professional in my career but on my days home i love bringing out my little skirts and little tops…..and my man ….welll he prefers them off most of the time
Oh yeah, and one more thing (I call em like I see em, and you can call me a jerk but I really don’t care)
Ladies, if something looks to good to be true, it probably is. And the same goes for this guys up above.
How many of you would seriously ask a guy who you were interested in romantically or sexually (unless he is your partner and you want to scare the living daylights out of him) if he liked the dress you spent $850 on? I mean honestly. Everyone knows (well, I hope they do) that it does scream hight maintenance, and that it makes you look like you are desperate for attention and it makes you look like you have little confidence in what you are wearing. Sure we ask our mates (whether it be girlfriends or the proverbial ‘gay friend’ – and you have to ask yourself which one of these ‘jerk’ up there is because it sounds like a lot of women ask him this).
You know what, I might actually start using that line to get rid of guys that are hitting on me (which only happens, by the way, when I am wearing my more expensive clothing, not my work clothes or my everyday digs. My dress-up, far too expensive – usually gotten cheaper off ebay – but don’t tell anyone, clothes.)
So really? I mean seriously? you are going to swallow everything this guy says like he is James Bond or something?
And everyone knows, that men like to tell women what they want to hear (which is exactly what this article is doing) to either get into their pants, or get an adoring fanbase. And shit, how many of you guys actually believe a guy when he says he is a lover of women.
As he pointed out, many have called him a jerk, which probably means he is not quite the ladies man he is making out to be.
call me a b*tch if you want, but I just call them like I see them
For the most part, I agree with this article and over the past couple of years I have learned that no matter how much money I spend on making myself look good, there are no formal acknowledgements. And I don’t begrudge guys for that!
What I do disagree on is towards the end where you emphasis only keeping your figure. Personally, I have been pretty trim my whole life (because I eat carefully and exercise) but in the last six months I’ve gained a lot of weight as a result of both quitting smoking and going on the pill. As such, I have put a little more effort towards making sure my hair and makeup are maintained and I dress myself in more flattering outfits (which, I’m afraid, can sometimes cost a bit more). I feel just as attractive this way while I try and lose the weight and honestly, I feel very self-conscious if I leave the house while my hair is greasy and I’m wearing dumpy clothes.
In short, I don’t expect guys to notice and point out how much time, effort and money I’ve put into myself. However, I’m the first to admit that I am high-maintenance but I am this way because it makes me feel good about myself. I know that whoever I ought to be dating sees me for who I am.
Does that make sense or is that totally convoluted?
Doesn’t what we look like in our clothes, be they bargin box or high end, come back to confidence. I mean some of those super models go grunge and we all try to copy them but it’s not cause the clothes are expensive but because they wear them with confidence and that air of “I’ll wear what I like and you can all go hang”.
So dress to look good, nice whatever but stand up straight walk proud and be happy what ever you are wearing.
On the flip side, if my man constantly wanted to spend so much money on clothes I would think he was high maintainance. And if he then wanted to TALK about it I would wonder if he had anything else of interst inside his head.
I have never understood why other women care so much about expensive clothes and shoes. When I had a 850 dollar dress I would not dare to wear it, in case I’d tear it. What is the point in spending so much money in clothes and other articles that have such a small life span?
Ugh, I can’t even tell you how many times my (guy) friends and I have talked about this, or how many times I’ve said this before “Women dress for other women. Believe me, I can point out the women dressed for men without trying.” Men like women in heels for the magical things it does for our ass and legs, the hours of shoe shopping we spend finding the ‘perfect pair’ is for the women at work. If I let my boyfriend pick out what I wore I doubt I’d be wearing much at all, lol. Also, who do you think is writing ll those fashion magazines telling millions of women what to wear? Other women and GAY MEN!!! Just think about that for a minute, I mean I love my gay men but he’s GAY, he doesn’t find me sexually attractive, is this really the guy I want to listen to when deciding what I should where on a hot date with my strait boyfriend? Not so much.
Lildevil,
Brilliant comment. You are so right about fashion writers.