4 Tips To End Sexual Boredom
February 4, 2010 by A_man
Yaaawn. Bedroom boredom
If you have been with your partner for a while (let’s say years) then there is bound to come a stage where both of you are going to get bored. You might not mention it to one another but believe me if you have been doing the same position every time for the past year or so then your partner is bored stupid.
The fact of the matter is that sex should be exciting and passionate and there is nothing exciting or passionate about constantly doing the military position and not even attempting to try anything else. Couples can get lazy. You find a comfortable sex position that you enjoy and that brings you to orgasm and that’s it. Every other position goes out the window and you don’t even want to try it. Don’t get me started on this ladies. The point is you need to spice up your sex life because if you are not both enjoying it what’s the point.
What I have devised for you is 4 great tips on how to break the sexual boredom, routine, rut or whatever you want to call it. These tips come from real men and there are the results of my latest survey.
Tip #1: Have Sex More Often
This was the top answer amongst the men I surveyed. It seems like after the honeymoon period most men are lucky if they get to have sex once a week. This just won’t do, come on, sex once a week, that is just ridiculous. When you start seeing someone you are probably have sex once a day if not more so why is it that when you get comfortable you take away this pleasure. I have a question for you ladies – do you not enjoy sex after the initial first couple of months with someone?
Tip #2: Have Sex At Different Times
If you only ever have sex when you go to bed at night then you will at some stage get bored. Why not try having sex first thing in the morning. Most men myself included love having sex first thing in the morning. It is a great start to the day. A quickie at lunch time, when the dinner is being prepared or whenever you can fit it in is a sure fire way to remove any boredom. Why not try grabbing your partner when he comes home from work and trying this out. I guarantee any boredom will soon be removed.
Tip #3: Use More Sex Positions
There are so many different sex positions to try and yet most of the women I know tend to find one they like and stick with it Boring…..Here’s a challenge for you. For an entire month you are not allowed to use your normal sexual position. Are you up for the challenge? Do you think you will be able to do it? I guarantee that if you take up this challenge you will find some really great positions and if there was any boredom or routine in your sex life it will have vanished by the end of the month and your relationship will be so much better too.
Tip #4: More Oral Sex
Oral sex is an important part of sex for both men and women but often when a relationship reaches the comfortable stage the oral sex takes a back seat. Why is this? I have heard women say things like, “I only gave you a blowjob because I was trying to impress you.” Or “That was when we first met.” Is there a rule that says you only give blowjobs when you first start having sex with your partner and then you can stop? I don’t think so. What is wrong with oral sex? You enjoy it don’t you?
If you have reached a plateau in your sexual life and you find that you are stuck in a routine then it is up to you to change it. You can see from the survey results what men want more of so why not take the initiative and put some of these tips into action. You’ll be surprised how quickly that boredom will fade.
FEEDBACK: What bores YOU in the bedroom? And/or share your suggestions below
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This sounds like a good thing but what if it’s my man that doesn’t want to have sex or try new positions. He would rather do himself with a magazine or porn flick. I give him a blow at least every other time we have sex, but I have to ask for oral on myself. Alot of times I will give him a blowjob and get nothing at all from him in return it’s he says I’ve got what I want why care about her! He wont even touvh me and he only wants sex in the morning I can’t get him to have sex any other time. I’m not completely ugly. he was attracted to me at the beginning we have been together over 4 years and at the beginning we’d have sex every day sometimes 2-3 times a day. He’s cheated and has addictions to porn of all kinds. What can I do to make our sex life better! What is he missing or wanting? Please help me!
What bores me is when my bf goes overboard fantasizing about having a threesome out loud.
Dear Deany,
If a threesome is something your bf really wants to do, have a date with another couple or visit a swinger’s club and see if it appeals to both of you..If this is to stay in the fantasy realm and it is upsetting you, it may be time to seriously move on from your relationship-I have arranged threesomes and foursomes for my boyfriend and it did actually bring us closer together; however, this is not something that is suitable for all people and relationships. Best of luck to you..:)
I also find it is not usually the fault of the woman that things are getting boring. I’d love to have sex every day, it is my bf that doesn’t want to. He’s always too tired at night, and so mornings are the only option, and usually he gets up before I can even initiate anything. I give him oral regularly, which he does love, and when we do have sex we use a lot of positions. Still this seems to be only once a week. I have been rejected many of the times I try to initiate. I feel like I’ve done everything mentioned here and more to try to spice things up. I think he just has no sex drive. Oh, and I wear sexy underwear, smell good, and am hot!! WTF?
What bores me is when my boyfriend wants to have sex with me, every second of the day. without taking into regards how I feel. Women have other things to do besides “please” men. Get over it. We have lives.
What bores me is that my bf doesn’t have any desire for sex(due to severe health problems with his father)and i’m only 22 and it’s hard to be the one that constantly asks for it, especially when i was used of men to chase me down about it. And the worst thing is that i can’t say anything cause the situation is really bad, but so is when you’re in love and you have sex once in a month or two.
What do you do then? That’s what i need an expert to answer me (if anybody can…).
I love having sex with my bf it is amazing. But how do I get him to start things? I always start it and he will even admit that, he is so awesome to me in every way. When we do have sex it’s mind blowing and he even says the same. What can I do to get him to start it sometimes? I don’t feel that he doesn’t want me or anything like that I know that he does, I am just not always sure when cuz he never says when. Please help!
Women always have to go out of her way to please men. Society has done everything possible to make women feel we have the obligation to slave our men by doing all kinds of sex pleasing fantasy, but rarely do I read or here about men should try as hard to please and try new things that satisfy women.
this site is ridiculous…”we all get lazy in the bedroom…especially you women” huh now thats the pot calling the kettle black
Angie, the problem isn’t the sex, but the relationship. You could ask your man what he wants and try to give it to him, but I’m willing to bet that no matter what you do to satisfy him, he won’t change his behavior/ lack of enthusiasm for sex. You say he’s cheated, has porn addictions and isn’t willing to meet you half way in the bedroom so it sounds like your man is just selfish. And no matter how much you want to, you can’t force a selfish man to love you as much as he loves himself.
Ask yourself – are your needs being met? Why are you still with him?
i luv all the info u giv. Awesome stuff. Itz helpd me alot.
My husband and i liv in diffrnt countriez, bt wer not seperated or anything. We jst hav different resposibilitiez. We see each other once a year for 1 month and we txt n call eachother everyday. All of your tips help me when i see him and we pretty much spend the whole month fucking, also helpz when we’re sexting n phone sexing to. These tipz wil come in handy for when i see him again.
Thanx
I agree that sex lives can get stagnat after a while. My man is a morning sex guy but we don’t live together, so that isn’t always an option. The other night after going out, instead of getting set to watch TV for a bit before calling it a night, I walked into the room taking off clothes, locked lips with him and found out that a little initiative on my part was enough to remind both of us that sex is not about routine but about desire! Create an opportunity that can’t be denied and you’ve got an out on routine!! Four weeks later, we still can’t make enough time for each other!
Another hint, if you schedule a “sex date” because of time constraints, you’ll both be so turned on by shear anticipation that you start to realize that some of the things you put in front of your physical relationship really aren’t that important…and the sex rocks!!
why don’t you give him a threesome then? It can be a really great experience and would surely spice up the love life
I just want to point out that it is not quite fair to expect a woman to want to be all over different positions if her man isn’t doing his part to make it easier for her to reach climax. Missionary is by far the easiest position to reach climax in & it’s more difficult with other positions so I tend to want to stay in missionary until I reach climax then I am game for anything you please but I know if I spend the whole time doing other crazy stuff I will never get there. So there.
Jay, YOU ROCK!!!! its because of you that me and my boyfriend have an increasingly incredible sex life. its our 5th year now. after 2 years or more, sex life got boring… these tips are vital. there’s no guy who’l say no to this… my man was suprised when i hit him with new positions… we even speak about sex… phone sex is also nice coz when you see him its on… i google new positions everyday and variations of current positions… never afraid to give instructions in bed… he’l love it!!! men love it when their women are into sex as much as they are…
Unfortunately, this seems true. I think women get lazy after they’ve “gotton” the man. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, and I’m guilty of this act. As for sexy knickers, I haven’t had a sexy pair of panties since the 90’s. In addition, I don’t even know how to shop for sexy lingerie. I wear flannels, sweat pants and t-shirts to bed. Motherhood may also be a factor when it comes to sex. The main focus becomes the children. You’re tired, and you don’t want to risk them seeing you in the act. As for sexual positions, spooning just becomes easier because it requires less work. Having said all of this, I also believe the man has some responsibility in making his lazy, child worn wife feel sexy. Women may lose some of their sexuality, but the men seem to lose their sense of romance.
My bf is boring! Foreplay is to a minimum when it comes to me. He touch me for a bit, then he lays back waiting for me to do stuff to him. I think it’s time u gave a few tips to the men out there. A lot of them don’t know anything about foreplay.
I find these tips very offensive and sexist. ‘Especially you women’?? In my experience it’s the GUYS who get boring in bed. Ask any one of my girlfriends and they will tell you how they’ve gone out of their way to please their man and try new things. But men are creatures of habit.
Look at these tips; they are directed at women, because you know it is WOMEN who are looking up new ways to enjoy their partner. How many guys do this?
Try for some real, honest, sensitive sex advice, NOT based on some pathetic biased, unimaginative ’surveys’. Please.
hey i am pregnant and i l0ve being 0n top…but anyways its been kinda hArd lately because i cant seem t0 get t0 the SP0T and when im almost there my st0mache gets up in da way and im n0t use to that cant seem to w0rk ar0und da belly,,d0 y0u g0t any g00d p0sitions thatll make me cum cuz me 0n top is da only one i kn0w..please help i l0ve sex and s0 d0es my b0yfriend
I. Agree. With. Angie. Having same problem . I want it all time always trying to spice. It up.
But he don’t want me. He wants everyone. Eles. Our his large porn colection! Our his toys. Won’t touch me. Our let me touch him. If another girl. Comes in room does not mater what she looks like he wants her. He will wine and dine her . But me , he just says u want to fuck . And no wine and dine. Please help me!
how about you men try to liven it up a bit? why should it be down to us? my boyfriend is always up for it still, yet i’m really not that interested.
Jay you are the best!!!!
Please let us (I believe there are other women in my position) know what to do with a man who is excessively addicted to porno. I show my husband to be into sex as much as he is, phone sex, video sex (he is a truck driver), I am all over him when he is at home. I am still attractive in spite of my age and having given birth to 5 kids yet he is looking for married freeky housewives even though he has his own at home.
What else can I do? I thought the fun and the spice should be between us but it is quite a turn off to me that he is always looking for other women ….
Jay you are the best!!!! Please let us (I believe there are other women in my position) know what to do with a man who is excessively addicted to porno. I show my husband to be into sex as much as he is, phone sex, video sex (he is a truck driver), I am all over him when he is at home. I am still attractive in spite of my age and having given birth to 5 kids yet he is looking for married freeky housewives even though he has his own at home. What else can I do? I thought the fun and the spice should be between us but it is quite a turn off to me that he is always looking for other women ….
Hannah,
1st You are on a site call – “Master Your Man”
2nd There is no reason a man shouldn’t take as much interest in your love life as a woman – you’re right.
3rd Sounds like something isn’t working between you 2 if you’re “not interested”
Great article!!!
Unfortunately, it does seem like women get lazy after they “get ” the man. I’m a wife, and I’m guilty of this unfortunate act. Parenthood also plays a role because you’re either tired, or worried about the children seeing you. Having said this, it’s not entirely the woman’s fault. Men seem to become less romantic as time goes by.
A note of empathy to Alexandra: Sorry for what you’re going through. It must be tough. I think it commendable that you still feel great about yourself despite your husband’s habits. Perhaps, you deserve better.
I just noticed that other women are experiencing the same situation has Alexandra. I think you were all hoping to get some advice on these matters since the site is a site that offers advice of a sexual nature to women. I wish I had an answer. I feel badly for your frustrations. I’m wondering if these men displayed these behaviors during the beginning of the relationship?
I found this site because I wanted to get out of my sexual rut and add some new spice after 20 years of marriage. The articles have been helpful. Thanks
Thanks, Jay.
Things were pretty boring after many years of marriage. We’d have sex occasionally–and always the same old way. Satisfying enough, but not much fun. Sex should be fun! So I found you online and started following your suggestions. Things have heated up considerably. In fact, it’s safe to say we’re having more frequent, more different, more fun sex than we’ve ever had. It’s a whole new ‘us’!
I always try to make sex fun. I’m always trying to do new things or wear new outfits just to make him go wild. We always have fun, but sometimes I wish it were my bf coming up with something hot for a change.
I just want to say I love your website and your emails I havent found another like it. You have given me great ideas that my man loves. after reading these comments i seem to have a different probllem. we have been together for 6 years and for the first 4 it was all about him i loved having sex and pleaseing him we have had sex everyday since we have been together the only nights we have missed were after we had our daughter. i gave him blowjobs at least 4 times a week but after a while something changed all of a suden it seemed like he didnt like my bjs he wouldnt get hard he tells me he loves it but i lose self confidence so i dont even try anymore ive never had a problem giving head so i dont know what to do there but things have kinda reversed now i get head almost everynight and i love it so girls it is possilbe i took a playboy who cheated and turned him into my sexy boytoy who wouldnt cheat if given a chance you can do it too u just have to lay down the law.
Psh! My man should be the one reading this. In my case, it’s the complete opposite. HE’s the one who found a comfortable position, while I’m the one shouting out different positions, locations, and times! I do oral way more than him, and I have to ask him to even touch me when we’re doing it.
When are the guys gonna start getting off THEIR asses and making it more fun for us ladies?
i cant stand that the only way my man gets excited to have me is when i dress up i know plenty of guys that love there women and want them as they are not as some dolled up toy.
Okayy Umm Yeaa Imm A LiL Too Younq Butt Itt Kalls Mee Haa
Youu See me n my guy friend are realy close like best friends and he would stay the night at my house every friday-sunday night.we didnt start having sex right away but like a couple weekends past and we started having sex out of nowhere it was very weird at first cuz i thought we werent guna talk anymore.but the next day wee had sex in the morning,afternoon,and at night we wuld do alot of intrestin thing and yea i gave it up too him b-kuz i loved him now im like a lil over him n now we have sex just b-cuz we want too.hee ignored me for a while like 1 month or 2 butt now that he sees i want sobody els he keeps kalling me.
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WHAT DOES IT MEEN WHEN I GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB N HE KAME IN MY MOUTH BUT WHEN HE WAS DONE HE COULDN’T EVEN STAND DID THAT MEEN IT WASS REALYY GOOD OR WHAT????
Tina,
I agree with what you said about society.
You will have a richer and more passionate relationship if you insist that your man be more romantic and do romantic things ie. take you on dates etc…
If he isn’t romantic or not responding to your wishes – you have choices to make, don’t you?
That being said – this is a site for women to understand their men – that’s why the slant is ‘what women can do to spice up the relationship.’
sincerely,
Archer
PS Maybe your man should checkout…http://www.RockYourWoman.com
Jasmin,
You’re right … that was poorly worded and totally inaccurate. I apologize and have removed that phrase from the article.
Thanks for pointing it out.
sincerely,
J Archer
Dimitra,
Sounds like he’s suffering from stress. Lack of sex drive can be a symptom of stress.
Amen, Coral.
He should be putting in an effort too. It takes 2 to tango, doesn’t it.
J
I’m on it!
Lou,
You’re right about that comment. I’ve corrected that. It wasn’t supposed to read like that.
Thanks for pointing it out.
J